Howard Charges Dropped & New Revelations Emerge

Despite police dropping the charges, the 911 call indicates a possible history of abuse from Howard

Only a few months ago, the image of Xavien Howard was of a quiet, hardworking, talented, and a team-oriented player. As a team captain, the centerpiece of the future, and one of the most popular Phins players, Howard was verging on beloved status. Then, off the heels of serious knee surgery, Howard was arrested for the physical abuse of his fiancee.

Despite the fact that Howard has yet to deny or accept his fiancee’s portrayal of events, you can bet with the sports betting software websites that his image has taken a hard hit, nonetheless. Now Howard’s reputation is facing more scrutiny with the release of his fiancee’s 911 call.

Though the charges have been dropped because his fiancee won’t testify, the situation has grown more ugly. Howard’s fiancee said to the operator during the 911 call (follow the hyperlink here to listen) that there was a pattern of both physical and mental abuse. If this wasn’t a one-off terrible event but a pattern of behavior, the concern over Howard’s character is compounded.

Quotes from the 911 call

“My fiance continues to think he can just push me, throw me into the wall without me doing nothing just because of who he is.”
“…it’s kind of getting to a point, it’s just like, it’s getting physical.”
“So every time a situation happens it’s always like, ‘Oh, don’t do this.’ Or, ‘Oh, well, you’ll be OK. Don’t call the cops.'”

Abuse of this magnitude can’t be glossed over

I’m of the belief that given the right set of circumstances anyone has the potential to act contrary to who they normally are. Of course, this is within limits. And no, a bad day won’t turn Mother Teresa into Jeffery Darma. But, sometimes good people make very poor choices under enough pressure.

As it stands, Howard’s issue isn’t just a bad choice, but part of the fabric of his character. The release of the 911 call has geometrically increased the concern… and the concern meter was already deep in the red.

Whether part of a pattern or a single event, this is unacceptable behavior. But, if it is a pattern of behavior, this is clearly a profound phycological issue… if true. Again, we will never know the truth, unless Howard confirms her side of the story. But, there was enough evidence on her body for police to make the arrest and confirms that at least there was a single event of abuse against a woman. That’s should be enough smoke for the NFL and the Dolphins to act as if a fire exists.

Either Howard’s fiancee is a pathological liar or Howard is abusive. The latter seems the most likely. This can’t end with the suspension of a couple of games and all is forgotten. A token response like this wouldn’t help Howard, his fiancee, their kids… or on a lesser note, the image of the Dolphins.

I believe in redemption… and it is needed with Howard

Unless Howard gets real help and legitimately fixes this, I will be disgusted seeing him on the field. A man who hurts women or children is no man at all in my book. I do hope Howard and his family get a happy ending to their story… even if that means never seeing him in a Dolphins uniform again. Go Phins!!!

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2 comments

FlFred1
February 7, 2020 at 4:12 pm
Well written column Sir. Speaking as someone who used to supervise Anger Management groups, I can attest to the great progress many men and women make in these groups. As a matter of hindsight, it
is almost always best if the person seeking treatment with their anger and ancillary issues enroll in a program that runs 12-16 weeks, or preferably longer. Those groups are generally court-ordered and are facilitated by the senior patients themselves in these groups. I have seen some of the “hardest of the hard” graduate with a newfound attitude and demeanor that serves them and their families well for the rest of their lives. I am convinced that the Dolphins and the NFL are tightly focused on providing superior treatment to those in need. Let’s hope in Howard’s case that he sees the need to enter a program and learns more about his anger and how to control it. Respectfully,
Fred W. ( AKA FlFred1 )
Retired LCSW
- admin
  February 12, 2020 at 2:35 pm
  Wow! You are an expert. I really, really liked Howard. And I was really, really disappointed to hear this news. Men must treat children and women with goodness or they aren’t men. No ifs, ands, or buts. I hope Howard and his family heals… football is the least important thing in the equation ATM… as you well know, Fred.

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